Praise and Potshots

Praise to the Chiefs, for finally having enough of the nonsense that was Larry "No not Granmama" Johnson. Johnson's 75 yards away from tying Priest Holmes' record for most yards by a K.C. running back. Good timing on the part of the Chefs (yeah, I did that on purpose. Shout out to the Snickers commercial), to make sure Holmes' record isn't eclipsed by some homophobic, woman spitting-on jerk. I don't think anybody should be surprised by this. Since Johnson entered the league, he whined about not getting enough touches, despite being a fresh-out-of-the-draft rookie. The Chiefs are trying to win by establishing a winning culture, which is exactly what you'd expect out of former Patriots GM Scott Pioli. Here's hoping that they're off to a good start. (Except when they play the Raiders later this year.)

Potshot to the Oregon Ducks. In their first game of the year, running back LeGarrette Blount decided to try his hand at MMA, when he punched out Byron Hout of Boise State. (Love the choice in music, to whoever created that clip). Blount's original suspension would have kept him out for the season, but Oregon has reinstated the boxer-turned running back, after gaining approval from the Pac-10. Hmm, could it be that Oregon's in the top 25, and on the outside looking in at a BCS bowl game, which would mean thousands, if not millions of dollars for the school? Since Blount was suspended, the Ducks have won all but one game: their last one, a 51-42 loss to Stanford (who, by the way, is a half-game behind the Ducks for the conference lead).

I think it's safe to say that Oregon decided trade the school's integrity for a potential payoff in January. Now, personally, I'm not all that bothered by what Blount did. I think sports would be a lot calmer, if you just let guys throw down every once in a while. Just burns off the aggression, if you ask me. Like in hockey, if things get too one-sided, the refs just break it up. I can guarantee you that you'd see a lot less taunting if there was fear floating around of a reprisal coming in the form of smack down. Nothing puts a faster stop to trash talking than a punch in the mouth.

So, no, I'm not really bothered by what Blount did. However, I do think it's ridiculous to see how much of a 180 Oregon has now done, in light of their supposed indignation when Blount was originally suspended. Kinda funny how a school's athletic program can go from demonizing an individual, to suddenly pleading for that same person's return to the field.

And, while on the subject of college athletes with a bit of an anger management issue, big ol' shout out to Elizabeth Lambert of New Mexico University. Ms. Lambert decided to channel Bill Laimbeer,

when she became a one-woman wrecking crew, basically assaulting every opponent on BYU's soccer team last week. As of now, Lambert is suspended indefinitely by the school, but, as in the case with Blount, we'll see how long that holds up. I'm willing to bet that we'll see Ms. Lambert again, if NMU runs into a tough part of their remaining schedule this year.

Who'd have thought? More integrity in professional sports, then in "student" athletics.

Legal extortion

Yep, that's what I'd call insurance: legalized extortion. The premise works like this: if you don't pay exorbitant rates for insurance, you'll just end up screwing up your entire financial future if you decide to live uninsured, and so much as get a flu and end up in the emergency room. Now, exactly how is that any different than somebody coming up to me and saying, "Now, you pay me some money now, and you don't get hurt. Or, you don't pay me, and get REALLY hurt".

I've gone back and forth with the whole "universal health care" debate. Honestly, I'm tired of paying for everybody else. I gotta take care of old people by paying into social security, and I'm helping contribute to public education even though I don't have any kids. When you think about it, most of the things that you pay for through taxes are usually pretty worthless to you. And, don't give me the "roads and bridges" garbage. Sure, I see the occasional roadwork being done, but the second I see a pothole, I'm calling b.s. on that whole argument.

But, at least I'm BENEFITING when I'm paying into a universal healthcare plan. At least I'm getting something out of it, which is more than I can say for everything else that comes out of my taxes.

It really true. When you're young, don't have any debt and a ton of disposable income, you're about as liberal as a bra-burning hippie. As soon as you have some debt, and you're working to make your living, suddenly your fist tightens around your money like a vicegrip. Happens to all of us. It's called Adulthood. Bottom line, working Americans pay exorbitant taxes, and reap hardly any benefits.

In truth, I could probably get decent healthcare if I were unemployed. If I decided one day to go crazy at work, say some insane stuff and somehow get the police involved, I'd end up unemployed, and receiving unemployment benefits, like healthcare. Instead, now, I'm working my a$$ off, and paying ridiculously high taxes, and I don't benefit at all.

Sometimes, it just feels like it's not worth trying to work hard and elevate yourself, when all you do is pay a large share of the taxes in the process.

Quick Takes, Aug. 5th

While I'm chilling in NC, you know I have to have my share of ESPN. While watching, a few thoughts came to mind.

1. Prince Fielder is an ass. When you get hit by a pitch, you have two options: A) Charge the mound, try and give the pitcher a beatdown, and accept the soon-to-be followed suspension, or B) Shake it off, and walk to first. Maybe Fielder didn't get the memo, but there's no option C) Try and get into the opposing team's locker room after the game, and attempt to fight the pitcher. Nothing shows off your age more than acting like an ass. Somehow, in the midst of this, Manny actually comes off looking mature. Manny!? Ramirez took his plunking, jogged around home plate, and then jogged off to first. If only Manny would actually run to first when he hits a ball, rather than jog like he just got issued a walk.

2. Eli Manning needs to cut David Tyree a FAT check. That Super Bowl just got lil brother paid, to the tune of a six-year, $97.5 million dollar contract. No Super Bowl win, and fans and management are simply thinking of Manning as a late-game interception waiting to happen.

3. Vince Young needs to pass along whatever he's smoking. Young just appeared in Esquire's "What I've learned" section, and was quoted as saying, "I will be the next black quarterback to win a Super Bowl, and I will get into the Hall of Fame." Okay, everybody, get a hold of yourselves, stop laughing, and somebody needs to pick up Donovan McNabb's jaw off the floor. There's just one lil problem with Young's declaration: he's not starting. And, if he stays with the Titans, he's never starting. Fisher has made that pretty clear, and while we're all wondering what exactly Vince did to lose the job (other than going ape-shit crazy off the field), Young has to find a new home. Unfortunately, Oakland's off the table, because they're too busy dealing with the Vince Young knock-off that they drafted-Jamarcus Russell. Remember-Al Davis did want Young in that draft, but Tennessee took the Texas qb first.

4. Rick Reilly's doing his next "Homecoming" show with Alonzo Mourning. Hey, Rick, are you going to bring on any of the Nets' players, so they can ask Zo why he decided to mail it in NJ, but then chose to man-up for the Heat?

5. Note to the Red Sox: Pray, PRAY, that you don't have to face Tampa Bay in the ALCS. Tampa Bay's got the Sox's number like Boston owes them some money. Tampa has one 7 out of 11 against Boston this year.

Bringing back the pimp slap-Lou Dobbs edition

Memo to any male member of Rachel Maddow's family: please check out the following:

Lou Dobbs on Rachel Maddow (from Dobbs' radio show. Check out the 2nd cut from the show)

Now, upon hearing Lou Dobbs call Maddow a "tea-bagging queen", please then follow my lead, as we find where Dobbs lives, ring the doorbell, form a line, and proceed to take turns pimp slapping Dobbs' swarmy, snotty a$$.

My respect for Maddow goes back to a few years. The first time I heard about her, she was doing a morning show on the pretty-much defunct Air America Radio Network. She was doing a show with Chuck D of Public Enemy, and comedian Lizz Winstead. The show was great. Informative, funny, and always worth listening to.

Maddow went on to have a solo show on the network, before moving on to television, where she can now be seen on MSNBC.

With that in mind, I was surprised, and pretty ticked off that Lou Dobbs decided that the best way to make his argument about Maddow's view on the alleged "birth certificate scandal" involving President Obama, was to simply call her a "tea-bagging queen".

Now, Maddow proves why she's a better person than me. She simply criticized the comment, wondering, what Dobbs was trying to say.

It's a noble question. Tea-bagging, for those of you unfamiliar with the term, refers to a guy putting his scrotum on the face of another person.

Now, unless there's some kind of "Crying Game" plot twist going on, I'm pretty sure that Maddow has no testicles, and couldn't physically tea bag anybody.

But, it didn't stop Dobbs from making the accusation. Perhaps, Dobbs was trying to make a back-handed comment about Maddow's sexuality. Maddow is a lesbian.

Regardless of the reason, Dobbs surprised myself and a lot of other people who have followed his radio show, and his show on CNN. Dobbs always seemed to be a voice of the middle; not favoring either side of the political spectrum.

That mirage is pretty much destroyed now. Dobbs' cavalier comments make it pretty clear he's auditioning for a job at FoxNews-looking to take his stupid and sophmoric sense of humor to an audience of people who would be much more likely to appreciate it.

That being said, Dobbs reminds us all what Jamie Foxx once said: "Sometimes we all need a good a$$-whupping". Dobbs reminds us that while we should be proud to live in a country where we have the right to say whatever we want, we sometimes should also accept the reality that some people will take advantage of that right, and use that right to demean others. It is during times like that, when I think there's absolutely nothing wrong with a good pimp slap. Just a quick "pop" across the face. Just a reminder to people like Dobbs, that, while you can say whatever you want to say in this country, there are certain lines you don't cross.

I'm reminded of Ari Gold slapping Adam Davies in Season 5 of Entourage.

Sometimes, you just have to put a person in check. Just sayin'.

Sports Rant, July 30th:

Why don't the Cleveland Indians just admit that they're not interested in winning? For the 2nd year in a row, the Indians traded away a Cy Young Award-winning pitcher. Yesterday, Cleveland shipped Cliff Lee to the Phillies for pretty much NOTHING.

Yup, I said it. Nothing. The major prospects that Toronto wanted in the Roy Halladay discussions didn't get moved in the deal to get Lee. So, are we to believe that Toronto's scouting is just that much better than Cleveland's, or is it something as simple as the Indians just not being interested in winning. And, it's time that the fans respond.

Cleveland is the second team this year that has pretty much made it clear that winning is not a priority. The Pirates have given away their entire team this year, in the midst of b.s. trades for prospects who'll never so much as excel at AAA ball.

Where's the fan outcry? At least in Pittsburgh, the GM was worried enough that he had to address the matter, by sending out an email to season-ticket holders, offering assurances that the team wasn't actually giving up. At least there was concern, which indicates that the fans were starting to grow a spine, and some intelligence.

Hopefully, fans in Cleveland will also start to develop that spine as well. Two Cy Young-award winning pitchers being traded in back-to-back years should give some kind of idea that their team really doesn't care about winning.

And, yet, the focus is almost always on the Yankees, and their spending. If the Yankees so much as spend a nickel, fans of other teams almost always cry "overspending", and start to whine about the lack of a salary cap.

Yet, there's no ranting and raving about teams like Pittsburgh and Cleveland tanking their teams, in an effort to reduce spending.

And, don't give me that nonsense that some teams don't have the money to spend as the Yankees. If an owner has enough money to run a franchise, they certainly have enough money to try and build it up. Especially, with the Yankees and Red Sox forking over several millions of dollars to pay for other teams' salaries, via the luxury tax.

In fact, when a team is operating on a payroll that is less than the amount of money the team has been given through the luxury tax, I'd say that's criminal, and the commissioner should look into it. But, Bud Selig has about as much of a spine as a snake, and thus teams can get by living on the cheap, and continue to reap the profits through the luxury tax.

So, the next time you wonder about why the "rich keep getting richer" in baseball, ask yourself: just how much money are the "poorer" teams actually spending to produce a competitive team? The answer might make you pretty sick. Just ask the folks in Pittsburgh.

Dice-K situation getting Dice-y

According to a story from MLB.com, the Boston Red Sox and pitcher Daisuke Matsuzaka have had a difference of opinion, when it comes to figuring out Matsuzaka's pitching problems this year.

While the Red Sox have pointed to physical problems (most likely soreness devleoped from pitching in the World Baseball Classic before the start of the regular season), Matsuzaka has provided another theory: the Red Sox conditioning program. Matsuzaka claims that his training regiment from Japan allowed him to achieve great success, while his new regiment while playing with the Red Sox has been detrimental to his pitching.

Here's my response: Damare! (that's "shut up" in Japanese, according to About.com)

Maybe I'd be more sympathetic if Matsuzaka showed as much enthusiasm for pitching for the team that actually PAYS HIM, as he does for his national team. Maybe I'd be more sympathetic if it didn't appear that Matsuzaka is struggling more and more with geting outs with every passing season. Granted, we're talking about a pretty small pool of information to analyze, but the results speak for themselves: Matsuzaka throws a lot of pitches to get batters out because his stuff isn't good enough.

So, is it really Boston's fault that Matsuzaka's arm is becoming less effective? Um, no. Matsuzaka's stuff is just getting figured out by major league batters, and it's taking him a lot more pitches to get guys out. Need proof? Check out his post-season games during Boston's 2007 championship campaign. In the time it took Matsuzaka to get someone out, you could do your laundry, update your Facebook page, grab a nap, and check your mail, and still see the end of someone's at-bat.

Matsuzaka's wearing his arm out, and now he's starting to wear out his welcome.

The Red Sox have, in the last few years, figured out how to play winning baseball. Granted, it took 86 years to figure it out, but better late than never. So, to suddenly hear the whining of a unhappy, overpaid employee is just nauseating. Especially when the player seems to make it clear that he chooses country of origin, over country of employment.